5 REASONS YOUR CAT IS SMARTER THAN YOU

1. He poops, you scoop!

Delightful. I am convinced my cat intentionally poops when I am in the middle of cooking or about to have a meal. I think he takes evil pleasure in seeing me drop everything and attend to his latest “surprise.”

2. He sleeps and plays, you work and pay!

Sounds fair, right? You work hard all day, then, on top of that, you have to clean all the messes and feed the lazy creature. All the cat ever does is sleep, lick himself, and play—what a life! Kids grow up and begin to help their parents; dogs—always eager to please their master and can actually do things, like fetch a newspaper; cats—nothing, nada, not even an inkling of a desire to assist.

3. You [try to] sleep, he has other plans for you.

Rattle-rattle-rattle. Bounce-bounce-meow! M-E-E-OOOWW!!! Night time = play time! Cats apparently like to party way into the wee hours of the morning. Then, naturally, they get hungry. If there is no food lying around and there are no cupboards to break into (thank God for child-proof locks), your cat will make sure you do not get to enjoy those sweet early morning dreams. In my experience, even the “I will whoop your ass if you don’t shut up!” buys only about 30 sec of silence.

4. His expert mess-making skills put your cleaning to shame.

Furryfying! What was I thinking getting a white long-haired creature? That he was cute? Buahaha!!! I buy pet hair-rollers by the box and can’t afford a luxury of leaving any nice comfy throws out on the sofa overnight; daily vacuuming is a must (although it doesn’t necessarily happen daily 😉 )… I need a maid…

5. He speaks an advanced alien language you aren’t sophisticated enough to grasp!

I have no idea what my cat is saying most of the time. I understand humans and dogs just fine, but the cat creature has me stumped. I think it’s mostly about food… yeah, I’m pretty sure… but what if he’s telling me the secrets of the universe and I am just too dumb to figure it out? All the weird alien noises he makes—what in the world? I try to repeat them back, and he responds, but there’s little rhyme or reason to any of it. Is there a dictionary for this stuff? Somebody, help me.

Let’s admit, resistance is futile, cats are simply superior beings to humans and will soon take over the planet. Hail to the mighty Cat-God!

Cat God

CAT

КОТ

38 зеркал кот у тётки украл.

28 донёс,

10 — кошке под хвост!

——–

CAT

38 mirrors the cat stole from his aunt.

It brought 28 [to its place] safely,

10 – went under the cat’s tail!*

*That’s an idiom, meaning those mirrors got trashed (went down the plughole, or, out the window).

Goat

КОЗА

Выйдешь в поле за капустой—

Приводи с собой козу.

Пусть она поест немножко,

Чтоб потом давала щи.

———

GOAT

When you go out into the field to get some cabbage-

Bring a goat.

Let it eat a little, so that

Then it would give shchi.*

*Shchi–cabbage soup (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shchi)

The Dancing Geese

There was once a little gremlin.

His name was Mr. Pie.

He loved to sing and dance around,

And boy, he wasn’t shy!

—

Once mother goose came to his place,

Cute goslings by her side.

She asked the gremlin, “Dear Sir,

Please teach them how to fly.”

—

So off they went to joyful sea.

They played, and swam, and dived,

But no matter what, no matter how,

They couldn’t learn to fly.

—

As days went by with no success,

Our Mr. Pie was sad.

He then came up with a new approach—

He taught them how to dance.

—

And they became “The Dancing Geese.”

So brilliant and bright,

That their fame now spans the world— 

A legend, far and wide! 🙂

Doodles

For fun…

Hand drawing of a woman

What sells on Zazzle?

What sells on Zazzle? Well, I don’t have the stats—Zazzle folks do. 🙂 I did notice that the types of products that are popular in my store are those with [cup]cakes on them (e.g., http://www.zazzle.com/birthday_cake_pattern_on_blue_binder-127384430078442986). Other stuff gets noticed too, but cupcakes rule!

Looking at other sellers, especially pro-sellers, I see that some cute designs that are popular (am not into grunge or politics or dirty humor) and/or the kind of designs that are bountiful at pro-sellers’ stores are those related to various celebratory events. In particular, weddings, baby-anything, graduations, and of course holidays, but mainly—bridal & baby stuff. Cupcakes/muffins/flowers/pastels/birds/rich backgrounds/invitation forms/envelopes/notes/cards seem to be the most-sought-after items/themes among customers.

These can be interesting to design for sure, and I have created some and will do some more, but only as long as it is fun. Otherwise, it would feel like a commercial enterprise. Ten hours a day designing/marketing bridal-themed items, like some pro-sellers do—no, thank you. Personally, I only do this for fun. If it sells—great!

On another note—I’ve seen many stores where it is clear that the owner is very skilled at drawing and/or at designing using illustration software, but they are not a pro-seller. So, being a good artist by itself is not the key to being successful at selling products (although it can’t hurt, obviously).

Greeting card with mini-cakes

Zazzle pro-sellers?

I was investigating recently who these people were…

Some had really nice high quality designs (with a shop [or shops] typically focused on one theme, like Vintage abc or Halloween xyz) and obviously good software skills…

There were also others who had very average quality products, but had thousands (like over 15,000) of items… moreover, the exact same design would appear on dozens of versions of the same product. For example, they would post the same image or text on dozens of different shirts as individual products. Note that on Zazzle the buyer can simply pick the type of shirt they want the design to appear on, so posting multiple instances of different shirts is unnecessary & really clutters the space–one has to scroll through pages and pages of the same item before they get to other designs. Do buyers just give up and purchase the repeated design ’cause their hand is tired from all the scrolling?

Of course, advertizing means a lot. I noticed that many have personal websites dedicated to their artwork and/or are selling via other avenues (like www.etsy.com).

Anyway, here is a snapshot of a few of my recent items. I think they are cute! 🙂

Zazzle new items 04.20.11

STORM

They were hiding under the leaf. It was so dark and cold, and there was absolutely no food, not even a drop. Their bodies were growing numb and stiff. Then, in a split second, things went from bad to desperate when a powerful gust of wind lifted the edge of the thick green leaf they were using as a tent. The rain kept pouring and pouring in threatening to sweep them away from their flimsy shelter.

-Move! Move, my Love! Come closer! I cannot lose you!!

-I can’t, Baby, my wings are completely soaked. It will take hours to dry them off before I can move again.

Two butterflies were hopelessly stretching their antennas towards each other for one last hug. Their once big and beautiful wings were now flopping uselessly in the wind like a grey mess of a sail stuck half-way up the mast threatening to overturn the boat. It was the matter of seconds before they would get separated forever.

-I love you…

They whispered at the same time, as the wind whisked away their final breath…

By morning, the Sun was shining as happily as ever, the air was fresh, and the road was dry and clean again with all the debris swept away overnight.

-Good morning world!

Said in unison two bright yellow butterflies, as they emerged from their cocoons. The youngsters glanced at each other surprised, giggled gleefully and flew off together in search of new exciting adventures…

Butterfly

Birthday cake

Birthday cake

Растопырив пальцы ног, встань на праздничный пирог.

Чтобы уж наверняка, надо прыгнуть пару раз.

И тогда кусочки крема полетят по сторонам—

Лицам взрослых, пап и мам!

——-

Loose English translation (may re-do it later, so it rhymes):

With your toes spread apart, stand on your birthday cake.

Be sure to get it right and jump a few times.

And then, pieces of the cake and cream will fly around—

Landing on faces of adults, Dads and Moms!

——-

Google translate yielded (for fun/comparison):

Outstretched toes, stand on your birthday cake.

Better safe than sorry, is necessary to jump a few times.

And then the pieces will fly around the cream-

Persons with adults, mothers and fathers!

 

So there you go! 🙂 😉

King

King

Many priviliges and responsibilities. Has charisma, but needs to make sure he is not abusing his power. Key is remembering that all power comes from God.